Ups and downs regarding moods are quite normal during adolescence. Teens who are best at coping with their moods have parents who take time to listen and talk.
- Respect her growing need for privacy in both “thinking” and “space.”
- Show him you love him for who he is as a person, not just for what he can achieve.
- Don’t do things for her that she can do for herself.
- Teach her to manage her time. Do not do it for her.
- Brainstorm together and problem solve. Show respect for his ideas even when you do not agree.
- Make sure she knows that you believe she can make choices that are in her best long term interest.
- Decide what matters: Although you should set limits, you should not impose them all over the place. Some types of behavior matter much more than others, either because they present a danger to the child or because they will make life intolerable for the rest of the family.
- Don’t Push: Trying to force an argument can lead to defensive behaviors. After going over the pros and cons, let them make their own decisions.
- Explain: Teenagers make their own judgements, but are open to reason. “Because I say so,” is not a good reason.
- Reward good behavior: If behavior attracts attention, it is more likely to be repeated. Positive reinforcement will encourage good behavior.
- Don’t be nagged or bullied: Don’t let your teenagers force you into accepting behavior you do not like and do not want. If teenagers get their own way because you have given in to their manipulation, they will try it again and again.
- Make sure the message of love gets through. Let your child know that even when they mess up and make mistakes you still love them and you are on their side.
