Temper tantrums are normal and common during the toddler years. Children have tantrums when they are frustrated and overloaded. The push/pull feelings of wanting to grow up but wanting to be close to you can lead to episodes of overload. So can being sick, hungry or tired. The toddler can fall apart when faced with obstacles to his or her desires or can simply fall apart because it all gets to be too much. There are many things that parents can do to deal with their child’s temper tantrums and minimize their impact on both parent and child. Read on for tips on managing your child’s tantrums.
- Remember, Tantrums are Normal - They typically appear at around 15 months of age and can vary in intensity, duration and longevity, depending on your child’s temperament.
- Prevention is the Key - Anticipate when your child may get overloaded and frustrated. Help you child by changing your behavior. Is your child too tired or hungry to go to the store with you? Are transitions hard for your child? Is that forbidden object still within your child’s sight and reach?
- Stop the Tantrum Before it Starts - Distracting your child with an appealing object or some nurturing attention may stop the tantrum before it starts. Draw your child’s attention away from a situation that may spark a tantrum.
- Give Choices - You can diffuse a tense situation by offering your child choices. If your child can’t play with the phone, can you offer a toy instead? If it is bedtime, can your child choose what books to bring to bed? Choices give your child some control, but your rules can still stand firm.
- Pick Your Battles - Your limit setting will be most effective andyour child will be less confused and overwhelmed ifyou have only a few, simple rules to follow. What are the most important rules for your child’s well being? What limits are necessary to keep your child safe?
- If a Tantrum Happens, Let Your Child Work it Out - Your role is to keep your child safe during a tantrum, not to stop it. Your child needs to work through the inner turmoil. You m ay have to hold your child gently, take him or her to a safe place to cry it out or just wait for your child to be finished.
- Be Ready with a Hug - Your child needs to be reassurred of your love after a tantrum. Words and gestures of affection are important.
- Do Not Give in to Your Child’s Demands - Letting your child have what he or she wants to stop a tantrum will only send a message to your child that tantrums get you what you want.
- Check in with Yourself - Never react to your child in anger or frustration. Tantrums can be very hard to manage. You may need a time out for yourself before you respond to your child.
- Ask for Help - The Parent Place staff is available to help. There are a lot of resources available to assist you in managing your child’s challenging behavior. Call us at 406-587-4734 or talk to your doctor about your concerns.
