“It’s not whether you have conflict in your life; it’s what you do with it.” —Tom Crum, The Magic of Conflict.
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. —Erma Bombeck
Any time children are together-at school or at home-there inevitably will be conflicts.
Teachers and parents share the same goal when it comes to dealing with children’s conflicts. We all want children to learn how to resolve differences on their own, in mature and fair ways that show respect for all. As you deal with children who are in conflict with others, keep asking them these questions:
- What was your part in the conflict? Usually there are at least two sides to the conflict. By helping your child see their role in the disagreement, you help them take responsibility for resolving the problem.
- What options are there for solving this problem? By helping your child see that there are often many possibilities for resolving differences, you will build (over time) their abilities as problem solvers in many different situations.
- How do you think the other child views this situation? Becoming more mature is a process of being able to step more and more into the shoes and viewpoints of others.
You probably won’t want to throw out your supplies of Band-Aids anytime soon. But using these questions to help your child think about conflicts with others may help you see slow progress toward the goal of enabling your child to resolve differences with others without adult intervention.
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