Biting
Separate the children. Comfort the child who was bitten. Be sure that he is all right. Administer first aid if necessary. Be very firm with the child who did the biting. “I will not permit biting here. Biting hurts.” Redirect both children to an interesting activity. Never bite a child yourself or have other children bite back to show how it feels. Biting is wrong for everyone at all times because it is destructive and dangerous.
Fears and Phobias
Acknowledge what your child is feeling. Avoid saying, “Oh, there’s nothing to be afraid of, you’re being silly.” Fears are very real in a child’s mind, whether they are over a bathtub drain, a dog, or imagined monsters in the pool. Instead try to “desenistize” the child by gently bringing her into controlled contact with the object of her fears. Take the toddler out of the bathtub before letting the water out, and let her watch the process from a safe distance. Then let her pull the plug herself, if she wants to, so that she is the one in charge. Be sensitive to their fears, tell them you understand they are afraid.
Saying “No”
No matter how annoying it is, constantly saying “no” can be developmentally appropriate behavior for many two- to three-year-olds. They are at an age when they fiercely want to be independent but are still emotionally dependent on parents. Keep your sense of humor. Allow children to make decisions whenever possible to satisfy that thirst for independence. Present a preschooler with two choices you can live with, such as “Would you like to wear the red dress or the green dress?” While allowing some choices, it is very important to establish strong limits where they matter (no running across the street; get off the swing and come indoors during a thunderstorm). Be consistent about setting limits. Decide the consequences for certain behaviors before they happen and stick to them.
Sibling Rivalry
Start by introducing the arrival of the second child (and additional siblings) in such a way so that the first born does not feel like they are being replaced. As siblings age, don’t expect or push them to be best friends. An introverted, bookish child may be totally uninterested in spending a lot of time with a boisterous athlete. That’s okay. Remember that each child is temperamentally different. Schedule and spend special, private time with each child. The trick is to try to treat each child as an individual. If a child has a problem – is a lesser student, for instance – respond to it in a the context of him alone, not in comparison to is siblings’ abilities. It will drive a wedge of resentment and competition between them.
Tattling
Parents need to try not to rise to the bait. Follow the practice of teachers: If something happens out of yur view, either discipline all concerned or none at all. If you constantly take the report of one sibling over another, you may lay the groundwork for a more serious behavior problem: that of the good-child-versus-bad child kind, with the resulting self-esteem difficulties. Encourage siblings and playmates to work out minor difficulties and squabbles among themselves.
Whining
Often times children whine when they are sick, tired or hungry. These problems are generally easy to fix. Have the child rest and give them a snack. However, there are a lot of perfectly healthy, well-rested children that continue to whine their way through the day. For these children, letting them know that you will not respond to whining will help. For example, “Daaaad I am thiiiiirrrrsty!” can be met with “I can’t understand you when you whine, can you try again?” If they continue, eventually their thirst will get the best of them and they will ask without whining.
Chores and motivating kids to help out
Kids need to know that they are useful, contributing members of the family. If they don’t find satisfaction in positive ways, often they find no so productive ways to feel important. It may seem easier to just do everything yourself, but kids need to learn responsibility and cooperation.
As early as 1-2 years, kids should be enoucraged to pick up after themselves. It helps to make it a game. Set a timer and have a race or have your child find all the red toys. To make the chore seem less overwhelming, ask your child to pick up 5 things. This helps them to practice counting as well as getting the living room picked up.
As kids get older, they can get involved in brainstorming a list of jobs that need to be done. Try a chore jar. Put the jobs on separate pieces of paper and put them in a jar. Let the kids pick a job.
