Adolescents often react to stress in their lives, with defiance. Parents then often react to this defiance with anger which in turn increases the teen’s stress.
Here are some parent tools to reduce defiance:
- Acknowledge that you recognize what your teen is feeling. Just as parents have a right to their feelings, so do teens.
- Define acceptable behavior. In two-parent families, parents must agree on what “acceptable” behavior is.
- Define your consequences for unacceptable behavior. To be effective, consequences must be immediate, specific, and consistent.
- Establish incentives for appropriate behavior.
- Don’t be nagged or bullied into accepting behavior you do not like and do not want. If adolescents get their own way because you’ve given into their manipulation, they’ll try it again and again.
- Remember to choose your battles carefully; adolescents are trying to express their independence, and should be given opportunities to do so.
